Stop. Stare. Smile.

Stop. Stare. Smile.

Those 3S principles are my newest addition to my locker of wisdom.
It took me a while to think on the focal point
about my present situation but yeah, steadily it
resembles itself into a solution for all the
fuss and problems raining on me,
like somehow life teaches
you on how to tango.

Stop.
Sometimes it is easy to stop and take a deep breathe if our
minds are clouded with questions and our mood is
swinging like a freaking tornado. It is easy to sit
down, close our eyes and expand our lungs
to inhale the air around us and exhale
thoroughly, in order to drain
down the confusion that
 take place within our
minds and make it
a better place to
think.

Pause the moment, you will see that you have
 a better judgments on making the right
choice in handling problems like
time moves in slow motion.

For me, a good choice is the choice made from
our own without any influences from others.
Always bear in my mind that people
can only provide me
with choices
UNDER CONSIDERATION,
but never forget that we must always be the
executioner for our choices. It is easy if
we portrays this like walking in
boutique shop in a mall,
Although there is always a lot of clothes for us
to choose from but it is always up to us
to buy the right one for us without
being easily influenced to buy all
of those clothes though
 the temptation is
 always there.

Stare.
Sometimes it is good to stare for a moment,
It is okay to step outside of our lights
and embrace the part of the world
 that we haven’t seen yet with
our naked eyes.
To appreciate things better because not all people
are as fortunate as us and even if they are
more fortunate, that doesn’t mean life
don’t have it ways to
bring them down.

It is true when there is a saying that goes,
“You can name a million successful person which
starts from failure and name none successful person
that never been through failure. “
Like myself, I’m the master of failures.
People sometimes think I am success so far
(Alhamdulillah) because I’m smart but the truth is,
they didn’t know the amount of failures that I have
been through to reach success.
If there is a ratio about my success: failure rate,
I would say it goes to 2:6.
And that is my best odds
 of ratio so far.
So want be successful in life?
Fail banyak kali lah baru success!
Haiyoo..!


Smile.
The best way to live our life is just a simple act
of movement of 241 facial muscles simultaneously,
SMILE.
It is amazing how a simple smile can change
the way we live in variety of perspective.
Sometimes I wonder why on earth some
homo sapiens chose not to smile as
it represents a warm introduction
 of themselves to others?
Enough of your egos people,
the world doesn’t need another hostile face, no.
Just a friendly face where the world
used to missed so much before.

Come on people,
put down your guards,
stand in front of the mirror and SMILE.
You will sense that a new day awaits you outside your
doorstep as you are equipped with positive mindset and
ready to face a good day starting from a smile.
This is Harry Hazellah, signing out.
*smile*  J

Love

Love,
Such mystery that has no specific answers to define
its existence since the first spark, many have fallen
to its magic and succumbed by it.
Some have their own perspective on defining love,
on how love can bring heaven’s comfort to their lives
or hell’s fire scorching their souls.
Mine are no different from other people,
I have my fair share of the good and the bad taste of love
in my life and after all those years of hardship,
I finally knew love based on my spectrum.

Love always presented itself as that ray of sunshine
fall upon us but many of us forget that love doesn’t
always promises happiness along the way as
we’re trying to preserve it in our hearts.
Many of us forget that love can never be easy
but it can only be wonderful
if and only if we learn to earn it yet acknowledge it,
Not just saying those three words
with our boneless tongue.

Hold your horses and think about it for a while,
Would you called it love as you treat that special
someone equal with people around you?
Would you called it love as you only interested in
finding common similarities in them which are only
benefits to your cheap desires,
But not appreciating them for their distinct uniqueness
which obviously portray their true identity?
Why are we living a lie just because we scared of being
our true selves and as an act of defense,
We start being someone else just to be perfect?
What is perfect?

Love wasn’t made only for Romeo and Juliet,
nor even for Cindarella and all its fairy tale bullshit,
sometimes we were so overwhelmed by love, we were
blinded to see on what is real and what is fantasy.
We may start making future plans
without any flaw but are we actually living it?
How can we already shifting most
of our attention on what is going to happen
tomorrow but pay less for not living it
now while we are still able?
Building such unnecessary towering
expectations later that can fall any moment
if it’s gone wrong one day.


Yes, even you knew it’s wrong.
So why can’t we just stop being a psychic
by making love predictable and
start living it now as if there’s no tomorrow?
Isn’t that what makes love
a much better place to live in?
Isn’t that how we may appreciate love more
on every second spent on them?
You tell me.


Love works best when both lovers
give their full pledge on each other,
Like a king need his queen so together
lives ever after in their kingdom,
And for that, I ranked woman that know how to treat
her man well with nothing but her love raining on me,
That special treatment which she only allow a man
in her lifetime to feel and treasured
without sharing it with anyone,
A woman that knows what is her needs,
making a bold stand to her principle that no one
can shake her than herself,
A woman that surrender herself to loyalty
as if there is no hesitation in her heart
by preserving her pure love
safely locked inside.


I don’t ask anything more than that, no.
I just want someone that one day,
If I fall hard to the ground, she would pull me right up
from my knees to remind me to never give up
while I’m still breathing,
If I fly high in the sky, she would pull me
back down to the earth to remind me
to never forget to where I stand,
And lastly if I lonely, she will beam her ray
of light on my darkness and shower me
with her warmth of comfort
as if she is my savior.


So one day if I have found her,
I would look into her dazzling crystal eyes,
Take her hand while taking a deep breath
to say “Why does it takes so long for you to come
and rescue me after all these while?”,
Smiling to her as I finishes my sentences to show
that I didn’t need cindarella nor snow white,
Neahhh,
Just a woman worth more than both of them
that not even a thousand fairytales couldn’t
compare to my one reality tales.

Waving My White Flag

I’m done.
I’m not someone so cheap
to satisfy anyone’s need without
giving a damn consideration
about my need first,
I’m not someone to be step on
my Goddamn head
that easily without thinking like
I have pride of myself in handling this.

I’ve been patient enough to redeem myself
step by step before this because
I’m a damn human being too that done mistakes
and still have the damn time
to fix it to be a better man,
at least I’ve swallow this done my throat
though many fucking guys out there wouldn’t
done this without putting my ego before me.

Tell me, have I ever raise my voice or even mad
at you like treating you wrongly without
considering you feelings during
your recent nervous breakdown?
Tell me to my face, have you ever felt the
sarcastic stare and treatment that
I’m receiving from people we know lately
since I can’t be yours,
that sometimes Allah SWT knows how
cruel the world fall upon me nowadays
but yet I’m still man enough and
mature to make you think I’m okay?

At least I’ve fucking take the blame myself
for your pride without blaming you at fault
one little bit though you knew the real thing
on what happened between us before,
but what do I get in the end?


You slammed it to my very face as if
my pride wasn’t good enough just
because I can’t be there all the time
and be what you hope for,
as if I’m a cheap bastards players
you find everywhere around you just
because I don’t choose to
give any false hope for you,
Think, if I even did this for SYMPATHY
or being a PLAYER at first place,
I wouldn’t even Goddamn care or
mad like hell bout this one bit and
have you replaced fast than you can barely blink.
Now answer this million dollar questions,
why don’t I even did such things
the first place if I were what you thought I am?

After this, don’t expect anything promising
from me because it’s not my job
to please anyone for cheap attention,
Instead of you blaming me for things
that I can’t always anticipated from
the start towards you growing needs,
why don’t you understand me too
bout me trying to live on
while carrying the burden on my back,
the very burden that I wished you never
carry it because you never do felt it by now.

I even prayed to God and ask my friends
to be more to your side after this
to keep you cheer up before me,
because I know it must been hard
for you after the split before,
As I don’t mind facing this hardship alone
without you taking the blame and
blessed with more friends than I have,
And I even strong enough to afford a fucking smile
though I felt the awkwardness surrounds
me but have you ever felt that?
No, because you are NOT ME.

The Beauty And The Beast

The Beauty and the Beast

Bruce Banner, the gemstones of modern sciences philosopher that possessed a monster breathing down his neck based on the popular comic book superheroes called The Hulk.
The enormous green beast with a fist as big as a coke machine is what made The Hulk so terrifying in the movie The Avengers, it scares the hell out the scum-based aliens from other far away realms (claimed) till they pissed their space alien’s pants.
But why we were so amazed by the big ugly monster produced by the excessive exposure of deadly gamma rays rather than the man himself, the mortal Bruce Banner?

What can we actually learn from these sci-fi fiction superhero characters to apply in our everyday life?
If you are guessing about painting yourself green with water colors and start smashing things around you,
you might as well GET THE HELL OUT FROM CONTINUING READING MY BLOG and take a number from a list of WORLD’S MOST MORONIC PEOPLE EVER RECORDED IN HISTORY.
But if you are not, I am more than happy for you to continue scrolling down this blog as you read it, thank you.





The main focal point that we can extract from The Hulk is we can view the importance of controlling the rage of our egoistic self from full dominance of ourselves.
I can see the Hulk as a by-product of Bruce Banner egos, the beast that were fed by arrogant and have the reputation of destroying the world sooner than the apocalypse does,
outshined and overshadowed Bruce’s reputation as a respectful intelligent professor of modern intellectual minds.

Didn’t we aware that ego is no more than a self-destruct button designed to pose a short term image of a strong big bully outside just to hide the permanent weak small coward inside?
Where Hulk’s stupidity outpaced Bruce’s intelligence?
Even Bruce himself have tried so hard from various experiments to remove the Hulk from being rampant inside of him but all he can get at the end of the day is just a disappointed face as he just couldn’t win the race.

I’ve seen people proud of their egos so much, they love it more than they love their true self inside,
such sad tales which they thought the tough and proud face built from their foundation of egos is worth nothing but a simple sympathy from me,
rather than a respect that they ‘thought’ would earned them.



Take away your armor of egos, what else do you have then, besides your tiny soft jelly-like weakness that you’ve been hiding it long from being exposed to others to see ?

Tell me, why wasting time to nurture the ugly face of egos with pride and glory which we all know it would only taught us being a big fat liar by pretending to be someone we’re not to the outside?
Why not nurture our weakness inside that we all tend to hide it behind the lights of our egos before into our new stronghold fortress and of course, earns a well-deserved respectful figures for being who you really meant to be?

I know maybe we all use our ego as a defense for a certain occasion but we can never rely most of our trust in egos forever because it will take you one step back from where you stand right now.
Like taking the early train tickets back to Immature rather than taking a forward dash to Matureness.

Sometimes I felt sorry for Bruce Banner because he only wants people to see his true self of being the leading proud professor in his triumph in sciences but all he ever do in the end is cleaning up the mess after Hulk, his alter-ego.
Such beauty that embedded inside the beast.

Standing At The T-Junction

There’s a saying that I’ve always keep it
in one of my cabinet of principles,
“Choose a choice where one will
offer you on what you NEED,
NOT what you WANT” ,
Such phrases that never fail to teach me
on reaching to what we only NEED
first instead of what we WANT,
to what we want LONG TERM later
instead of the SHORT TERM now,
by choosing wisely from thousand choices
that presented itself in many forms.



I’ve learnt that not all choices would favor our way
or how we thought it would be,
well that’s the beauty of life where it is always
randomly unpredictable though many ‘thought’
to make it seems predictable,
not like in the movies where the end of it
are always cliché.
I have my own fair shares of limited choices
where it is the only choice served on my plate
though it’s not what I’m proud off to make,
but needed to be done nevertheless and
just to make it through the night.


The only main blueprint for me to endure
these harsh circumstances is to always
keep a wise mind and to never press
the surrender button just yet
till your very able-body says so.
Always bear in my mind that God only offers us
choice that are made for ourselves and
never beyond our reaches,
because if life is so perfect, we won’t
have criminals roaming our streets,
parents divorcing at the end of the day,
unemployed personal looking for jobs,
poverty all over or even the
word UGLY in the dictionary isn’t?
So what are we actually complaining for PERFECTION
though we will always know there’s only IMPERFECTION
among all of us?
Why are we living in
denial the first place?
You tell me.


The will be a time when we have to choose
between two separate yet enormous pathway
which leads to two different cycles,
one choice where we take our stand
and make our own choices,
equipped with pure guts and bold heart
that break the dominance of people’s influences?
Or another choice where we take most
of the account of people’s thoughts
rather than giving ourselves
the privilege to make our own choices?


I’ve made some few hard choices that were
‘make or break’ with a big warning sign on it too
these last few weeks though I know the list of
consequences that may occur
on the way before that,
But at least I’ve made a call rather than delaying it
for God know for what later in life or should I say,
running away from dealing with it like most people
would normally go for it.


Sometimes it is hard to look at the mirror
because we know it will never be the same face
we’ll be seeing on the mirror,
But at least it’s a face I rather see
than some other faces of the people that made
choices based on their foundation of selfishness
without the room for sympathy regarding to themselves,
at least I’ve made choices after a stern
consideration by viewing it through a large spectrum all over,
taking full responsibilities for my call by swallowing it down my throat like a man and march forward with all that awkwardness hanging around my neck.


Answer this yourself, would you dare to say that you will never regret of you choices later that were made to please the growing expectation of other people around you initially rather than to fill your cup of expectation first?
Would you dare to put on the ‘proud’ nametag on your chest though you yourself never sincere in believing yourself in capable of choosing the right path for yourself?
I’ve made my stand by facing the risk of my own choices,
were you?

These Reflections

It was past midnight as my eyes failed me
in sending me to sleep lately these days,
A long sigh from me as I felt every second wasted
through the night is like a lifetime spend
behind the bars imprisoned by boredom,
As I mumbled while staring at the walls
to my room for minutes,
Image of past events reformed itself
at the back of my head,
displaying it like moving picture in cinema
rolling the good and the bad
scenes all over again,
A mixed feeling surfaced on how things changed
now though my body stay the same
without a cause,
As i rose from bed and sit
at the edge of the bed frame,
I rolled my eyes slightly to my right
and saw my big oval-shaped mirror
standing solid before me,
Reflecting myself on the other side.

But then all my senses pulled as
I'm shellshocked to see myself
at the mirror with scars scorched through my skin
from various area
with bruises bloated above my skin too,
A moment of pause take its place as
 I'm pleaded to God
if my eyes were deceiving me?
Such image with grey clouds filled the sky above
and waves of cold breeze blown against me,
Such gruelling situation like seeing myself after serving
my well-spent execution process in Hell,
An immenent penalty paid for the wrong choices
made by me in the past.


But just like every heavy downpour in a bad day,
a ray of silver lining reflected upon me from above
breaking its way through the dark clouds,
Suddenly I watched myself smiling on the other side,
Just as my mind is surrounded with questions
rather than seeking for answers,
I felt myself on the mirror after I've tried
to trade places for a while,
I felt the earth beneath my feet
with my legs standing firm
to where I stand though the ambience
around me seems frightening initially,
but my rigid soul didn't failed me through the end.

Now everything seems clearly as
I inhaled and exhaled deeply,
I finally managed to crack the code
behind these silver lining,
A lesson to be learnt that just as we thought
we have been sucked into a harsh vortex
and being spitted out to the ground,
Don't stop to get up to your knees
and face them again at their frontdoor,
Because no one are worthy to shake you off your stand
as maturity leads you to a better person
than everyone that against you,
To bear in mind that the world wasn't made for us,
It because we were made for the world.

When a single nut builds a Great Ship

I’ve once heard a wise man told me that little things
do count in making big differences in life.
Such simple phases that soaked through my mind
that not only taught me on how to be appreciate
about one or two things, but to appreciate the numerous things
that constructs itself pieces by pieces that finally
turn out to be one beautiful masterpiece of jigsaw puzzle of me.

Perhaps people might argued, why do we have to pay attention
to those little things as we only live once to matters
in bigger things that promises us fame and fortunes?
Yes you might have a point, for a 12 years old mindset.

Now try to ring the bells that lies beneath your mind
and answer this, why do we need to waste even a second
using shortcuts in snatching the things
that only LAST FOR A MOMENT, pleasing the endless
sea of sickening desires that alter a good person to bad?
Rather than paying attention to the little things that
make bigger things happen which LAST FOR A LIFETIME?

Didn’t we realized after all these while that
every little things in life act as a brick to build bigger things?
Didn’t we realized that these little things are the one
that taught us to embraced the good value of being humble
and goodness?
What went wrong actually?
Dilemma dilemma.


Like myself,
the main pillar of my life are built from a series of events
that some were a blessing from Heaven itself and
some were a nightmare from Hell itself.


I’ve learnt that randomness within our cycle of life
is the key in making us more versatile in many ambience
that we’re about to encounter later around the corner,
rather than being predictable by living only
within the light you have made,
to bow down to your selfish egoistic figure that made you
the front cover on ‘Modern Slavery’ casualties list bout yourself?

Shame on you, what’s life if we’re not living it right?

To make things clear,
let’s not being too selective in making choices without
any possible consideration on the little things in life,
sometimes we engaged in a tough decision making situation
where all the possibility seems to be vital at ONE POINT,
but it will always be that one right choice at the end of that decision making which made us gradually better at MULTIPLE POINT.

Consider a situation when receiving an
anonymous gift in two different occasion,
would you go for a gift with glittering wrapper
topped with beautiful ribbon around it where
its content is worthless when you’re MOST expecting it?
Or would you go for a gift with plain wrapper with
the content is worth more when you’re LEAST expecting it?

You tell me.