Waving My White Flag

I’m done.
I’m not someone so cheap
to satisfy anyone’s need without
giving a damn consideration
about my need first,
I’m not someone to be step on
my Goddamn head
that easily without thinking like
I have pride of myself in handling this.

I’ve been patient enough to redeem myself
step by step before this because
I’m a damn human being too that done mistakes
and still have the damn time
to fix it to be a better man,
at least I’ve swallow this done my throat
though many fucking guys out there wouldn’t
done this without putting my ego before me.

Tell me, have I ever raise my voice or even mad
at you like treating you wrongly without
considering you feelings during
your recent nervous breakdown?
Tell me to my face, have you ever felt the
sarcastic stare and treatment that
I’m receiving from people we know lately
since I can’t be yours,
that sometimes Allah SWT knows how
cruel the world fall upon me nowadays
but yet I’m still man enough and
mature to make you think I’m okay?

At least I’ve fucking take the blame myself
for your pride without blaming you at fault
one little bit though you knew the real thing
on what happened between us before,
but what do I get in the end?


You slammed it to my very face as if
my pride wasn’t good enough just
because I can’t be there all the time
and be what you hope for,
as if I’m a cheap bastards players
you find everywhere around you just
because I don’t choose to
give any false hope for you,
Think, if I even did this for SYMPATHY
or being a PLAYER at first place,
I wouldn’t even Goddamn care or
mad like hell bout this one bit and
have you replaced fast than you can barely blink.
Now answer this million dollar questions,
why don’t I even did such things
the first place if I were what you thought I am?

After this, don’t expect anything promising
from me because it’s not my job
to please anyone for cheap attention,
Instead of you blaming me for things
that I can’t always anticipated from
the start towards you growing needs,
why don’t you understand me too
bout me trying to live on
while carrying the burden on my back,
the very burden that I wished you never
carry it because you never do felt it by now.

I even prayed to God and ask my friends
to be more to your side after this
to keep you cheer up before me,
because I know it must been hard
for you after the split before,
As I don’t mind facing this hardship alone
without you taking the blame and
blessed with more friends than I have,
And I even strong enough to afford a fucking smile
though I felt the awkwardness surrounds
me but have you ever felt that?
No, because you are NOT ME.